As you can see from the photos we have been having lots of fun.
Harry has been in school this week and remains well. One more week then its half term! We will be having days out and enjoying time at home. Since Harry is well at present, we don't feel so much the need to rush and go and do things. We were wanting to go away for a few days in Filey, but have decided to save doing this for a few weeks. Half term was booked up, so it would have meant taking Harry out of school again. For now he needs school and we need some time with Harry at school to get some jobs done at home. We are redecorating and making our mark on our house we have nearly lived in for 2 years. It feels good to be thinking about deciding what colour shall we paint the living room etc. it also gives a topic for conversation with friends, which is normal and interesting!
I went on a karaoke night in Leeds on Thurs and was taken aback at how Deja Vu can so suddenly hit me, not the karaoke bit, but the bus stop we got off at was right by the Merrion center, by tiger tiger bar and Sainburys. AND, you may say, well that area of Leeds was frequented lots by myself when Harry was in LGI. When Harry was in high dose chemo, I would often take a walk to sainsburys, when I had got him settled for the evening. Yes I know how to live! Well just stepping off the bus transported me immediately back to the time Harry was in LGI for high dose chemo. I also realised that it was May 16 th, the exact day a year previously that Harry went into high dose chemo and didn't come out till the end of June. I could visualise myself a year ago and remember the whole horrid treatment regime Harry was on. I could picture myself, tears running down my cheeks with Harry on my lap in severe pain as a result of getting VOD, whilst a doctor was being sort to try and get morphine prescribed. Back then the thought that the treatment would make Harry better kept us going. Now it seems it was pointless in many ways. The good thing being Harry only remembers bits of it all. I managed to contain the flashbacks and have a good night, but on Friday I felt that immense foggy feeling that creeps in all too often, due to intense feelings of grief. I could have very easily spent the whole day bawling my eyes out, but its sink or swim, so Paul and I went for a walk on the Chevin, to an area we haven't traversed for years. We remembered how scenic it is and made a mental note to take the boys there. We also went for lunch at the very reasonable Nam Jai's Thai restaurant in Otley. Feeling much better we had the energy once home to tackle our garden!
We have been overwhelmed with how much people want to create fun times for us and Paul's work are putting on a fun day at Swithens Farm in Rothwell for Harry tomorrow. BBC weather say it should be dry after lots of rain today, even the sun should make an appearance. We shall take some photos and share the day with you. I know many of our friends will be joining us. We really do appreciate everything people are doing, may the good times roll!